Thank you for giving me – this is what forgiveness means to me. Thank you for giving me the gift of (fill in the blank). This could be any number of things, depending on what transpired. The gift may be how you would do things differently next time. The gift may be that you have become more independent. The gift may be that you are more confident.
All of us have been in situations where we are unhappy with another for something that has occurred. And of course we all know that we played some part in the unhappy situation as well – if nothing else, we were there.
Forgiveness does not mean that you agree with what happened. The other person is still the same person you care about, before and after the situation. Forgiveness is about learning more about yourself. It's about looking at the gifts that may have come out of the situation. It's about taking your power back.
When you have something that hasn't been resolved with another, and you continually think about it, you are keeping it festering within you. This isn't doing you any good. It's like continuing to scratch a mosquito bite.
If you are unable to sit down with the other person and talk about it, you can always write a letter and tell them how you feel. And then burn the letter.
OR you can do a meditation where you visualize having a conversation with them and resolving what happened.
OR light a candle with the intention the flame is healing, love and light. Release what you are holding to the flame. Imagine it dissolving in the heat of the flame, transmuted to love.
Do not underestimate the power with any of these. You may be pleasantly surprised. When I have done either one of these or something similar, I generally will get some type of communication from the other person within several hours.
Getting it out is part of the process. Releasing what you have been holding onto as it no longer serves you.
Forgiveness is an inside job. If they were to never talk with you about their part in whatever transpired, that's OK. That would be theirs to work through. You can only control you. When you release it, forgive them, forgive yourself, you can move on and past whatever happened. It's about taking back your power. When you are withholding forgiveness, you are holding yourself a victim.
There are 2 forgiveness prayers I use on a regular basis. I invite you to try both of them to see if one of them works for you. The first one is called the Ho'oponopono Prayer. Hooponpoono can work miracles is a site I came across with a short video that talks about it.
The prayer itself (some call it an affirmation, some call it a mantra) is very short, but again, don't underestimate what it may do for you.
I love you
I am sorry
Please forgive me
The other I've seen on websites for clearing, healing, releasing to bring in prosperity. Many times I see Catherine Ponder's name associated with it, but I believe the author is unknown. Here is The Forgiveness Prayer:
All that has offended me, I forgive
Within and without, I forgive
Things past, things present, things future, I forgive
I forgive everything and everybody who can possibly need forgiveness of the past or present
I forgive positively everyone
I am free and they are free too
All things are cleared up between us now and forever
Angel Blessings to you.